Pre Solo Performance

As I begin to write this, I can't even allow myself to think straight without playing music in the background. This worries me a bit because the weapon of choice is, of course, CocoRosie...perhaps they are becoming a bit TOO involved with my life. Perhaps? NONSENSE... I start to wonder.

"Now that I'm alone, I feel the lonely brokenness of all the wicked avenues I never sold my love on."

Beginning to develop my solo performance I was really nervous. I knew I had a lot of information but due to my crazy semester and schedule and the outside world...and perhaps my overall effort in the end, I didn't develop the character as much as she deserved to be. I focused mainly on how her situation in the play could be played out, that is regarding her feelings of loss and not really being able to understand her brother's disappearance. If I've learned anything this semester in my own life it's that I now know what it's like to have someone in your life and for reasons that you canNOT understand they are gone. I wanted that to come across. So, I interviewed Cassandra Perkins, the one and only since she had a similar situation involving her brother leaving for the service. However, their stories don't really match, thankfully nothing tragic became of Cassie's brother, but the feeling of losing someone close to you (or that you might) was what I wanted to hit upon.

"He's my evil shadow dove, my black palomito. Can't shake him like a diamond skull... I can't seem to do so. Can't just rub him out like the mob used to do so..like memories of porno and tear stains and tobacco...oh...it's a mini disastro"

What else? I was able to use my information regarding the first gulf war to give a setting for the play since the rest of the show is set... in some...other world it seems. Boxler, especially exists in this world of living/dead...and I begin to think that Fairouz and Craver are no strangers to this weird existence. For this, I wanted to incorporate a part of a conversation that the class had had about the setting for "In the Heart of America." I chose to set my performance/scenes in a hotel room that was full of sand. That is to make the gap between life/death america/iraq more apparent.

What is most interesting/scary is that will it be ten minutes? I know Amy would say it really doesn't matter, but that's the academic part of all of this coming together. The stress of it being an assignment helps it work and makes it even more daunting. Here's hoping that it goes well!