Han Solo

This was originally dated September 28, 2010 and is a response written after the class did our first solo performances of original pieces the class wrote after incorporating specific criteria including viewpoints, music, costumes, and a prop piece.

This last week we have been doing our solo pieces, and even from just watching the pieces performed by others in the class, I have learned so much about how incorporating the viewpoints really makes for a much stronger purpose to the acting. Just like playwrights have a meaning and purpose for every word they write, a performer must have a reason for every move they make on stage. Even in everyday life we have specific reasons for doing things we probably never think about, and it wasn’t until I watched other performers that I truly became completely aware of how minute a gesture can be for me to relate to it.

There was one moment in a student’s piece where while he was describing a stressful situation he placed his index finger on his eyelid and pulled it over to the corner of his eye as if he was massaging out pressure building up in his eyes. I do this exact gesture probably ten times a day, and it is something I would have never noticed if he hadn’t done that gesture with his dialogue which made this brief three second moment so incredibly powerful to me. I could so easily and instantly relate to him and his character.

The viewpoints overall have helped me, especially when I decided to do a four-year-old version of myself for my solo piece. I knew I didn’t want to a caricature of just any little child. I wanted specifics. The way I always fidget with my hands is something I’ve always done. I constantly have hangnails on the sides of my thumbs where I pick at them. The way I sit has been deemed “unlady-like” for years and I refuse to change it for the sake of comfort. The costume helped emphasize this as I do not sit with my legs together or crossed when I sit on the floor, and wearing a dress makes this very awkward, but also very four-year-old like.

When I first began developing a story I had about ten ideas of what I wanted to do. I had every idea in the book of what I wanted to do, but none of them meant much to me. I went back to the paper where we had done the free-writing exercise in class and looked at the phrase I circled and recited in class about being four and missing my front teeth and thought about my four year old mentality of the world. From that came the piece. Having so many guidelines for the piece and only five minutes proved to be the toughest part.

I found that the viewpoints actually helped me block my piece, though. I knew what I would normally do, and the viewpoints made me move out of my comfort zone and really try new things. It was brought to my attention after performing that I stayed in one place a lot, and this is something that is not me at all. I am usually all over the place bouncing off the walls, but for this piece and the context, having the confined area really worked to my advantage. The most difficult guideline for me, however, was the audience participation. I was taught that in acting you can never break the fourth wall, and this was defying the very essence of that rule. I had to find a way to do this and still stay true to my character.

The most difficult part of this assignment in general and overall was the fact I was putting me on stage. Which is something as a performer is my worst nightmare. I finally had to take a deep breath and quote John Lennon, “I write about me, because I know about me.” After that, it came down to what I wanted to discuss from being four years old. I also knew I had to have a story. The story came after about the fourth rewrite. Surprisingly, it was not the first thing I did. I really wanted to get down how I was at four and then evaluate something that I was willing to deal with on stage and something that was meaningful and true in my life. Overall, I was pleased with what I came up with. It is the artist in me that is never satisfied were the piece is, but I have every intention in the world to keep working on this piece and perhaps someday be able to move on from it. But this assignment was probably one of the greatest assignments I’ve ever had and actually was excited for it. It was very challenging and really forced me to do things I was not comfortable with and I had to try new things. Solo pieces may become something I do just for fun from now on. It was very enjoyable and cathartic to work on stage.