Craver

Craver is me. I am Craver. I really feel so connected to him and it hit me in such a strange way while reading the play. I know I talked to Cassie about this, but did anyone else feel they were about to come to tears while reading this play? It struck a nerve, and I thought that I was sold on Dalton, but playing opposite of Craver (who I instantly saw as myself from the beginning) as Fairouz made me fall in love with the character so deeply. I'm realizing that I am one of those people who wears emotions on their sleeves - but it's true, and now that I'm talking about it just makes me feel more connected to him, like a rush.
I'm from a part of town that is easily considered "white trash," and I've definitely grown up with that mentality and learning how to escape the dreaded garbage filled backyards. My own personal home was not as such and the environment I come from is very nurturing and beautiful, but all the houses around me were the same people, just not concerned with presentation. When I think about it, I think that it's a group of people who don't know the benefit of sight and therefore they cannot see themselves. (Which ties into Cornerstone actually - more on that in a minute). Craver was a beautiful lost piece of trash that was experiencing seeing himself for the first time (or at least it felt that way with the situation) although still very jaded and torn. His love for Remzi is so strange in the play that it is so TRUE, and his strange feelings for Fairouz stem from such an intriguing place (somewhere in the depths of guilt or pain of Remzi's death). I think that this role is a very eye-opening bit. His tragic lot in life is something that seems to shine very beautifully because he is the real American boy from a real American town who feels unwanted and ashamed and confused and mixed with a quiet sense of pride, the way I feel we all are. I think he is the model for everyone and whether or not his role leads in good example is irrelevant. Truth only leads to truth.
Back to Cornerstone. Reading about them and then having the discussion we had, made me just want to hop in a car and CONTROL what I was doing and control the role I was choosing to play by giving people a mirror to see themselves in. I think that people don't realize their potential to be anything any other human being can be until someone TELLS them (better yet, SHOWS them and WORKS with them) that they can DO these things. I feel so proactive about this class as it speaks to the inner activist.