Honey or Tar. Does anyone know that song cocorosie? Well, after reading Trestle I found that it was stuck in my head. There is such beautiful imagery conjured up that has to do with control and lust and desire and bodies and pain. It's a very beautiful piece and too me, this is what the play represented. I was shocked by how much I related to the character Dalton. To the point where I felt that Dalton was a homosexual in the play and to me that explained his odd relationship with Pace. It seemed forced and fragile and unsure and just ODD; however, strangely comfortable to me for reasons that I can't really put into words.
I thought the play was outrageously and scarily poignant to NOW. Does anyone else agree? I think the parallels between economy is extremely striking as we enter a very scary part of our world that is scary as can be for someone my age. There is an urge in me to never grow up because being in school allows me to gain money and live without having to worry what's going to happen. Financial Aid is a wonderful safety net, although it's limiting and who knows what's going to happen to me once I leave it behind - and I want to. I don't want to be scared into not living my life and being forced to bide time in a life that could create detrimental results. Very much the same way detrimental results inflict the lives of Dalton and Pace.
Moving on...the solo performance
I was surprised that I was able to just jump into something making sure that it was a major improv. I figured having it done improv would provide a higher energy and would make it a much more enjoyable experience for everyone involved. I think I needed that adrenaline to be able to actually play the guitar and sing in front of people. I guess that's the moral of the story though. What's interesting is how I left the viewpoints alone and just let them be what they were. I think that in the beginning I may have been thinking about them too much and I never let myself realize that they are always happening no matter what. It's also funny how learning about them has coincided with so many things that I'm doing in my life. For example the dance company I Stage Manage. Not only that, the Butoh show.
I recently had the pleasure/opportunity to design lights for a solo Butoh performance and it really allowed me to experience the viewpoints in a way that I had been searching for. The performer had no real care about when lighting moments happened or how they happened. He'd ask for a change and make obvious decisions, but he left a lot of responsibility up to me to sort of dictate to him. It was as if we were in this relationship and I would supply for him what I FELT he needed. For example, there was a part in the show where he wanders around in the blue light and these harsh white spotlights appear on the stage floor. His response is to jump in the light and examine it and then I was supposed to take it away whenever I felt like it. I had this ultimate control to dictate how long he stayed in one place on stage until the spot moved away and disappeared into the ceiling.
I feel like I'm rambling at this point, but I hope my points were clear. Here are the lyrics to "Honey or Tar" and I hope they make sense to someone else (granted they are not literal, but suggestive of the emotions and thoughts that I felt were prevalent in the play)
I undressed you with my eyes i have
Maybe even raped you
In a dark and eerie corner of my mind
I tucked you there
And touched you in a dream last night
Pushed you aside when you entered
My thoughts at the wrong time
I have sat up upon your lap and
Saddled my thighs around your hips like ropes
I rode you on a chair and in the shower
And all the while i clung heavy to your back
My desire deeply harnessed in your spine
I'm riding recklessly though a thick and humid
Jungle growing anxious with the deep and primal
Yearning that stirs
Deeply pulsing up toward the surface
Like sap rising or honey or tar
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I didn't know that song but I love cocorosie, so I looked it up. I love the way the lyrics resonate with the way Dalton is haunted by Pace's memory, how she becomes part of him and even he isn't sure what happened between them. Keep this song in mind for your later performances, regardless of what you work on!
ReplyDeleteI think there's a lot in the play that does feel frighteningly current: the idea of losing control over your life, your ability to connect with and love other people; and that this loss feels like a result of decisions made elsewhere and very far away in the name of progress.
I thought you did great work in the Butoh performance, and the bit with the lights was one of my favorite parts. One of the things I like about using Viewpoints is that it makes it possible to reimagine the relationships among theatre artists in terms of who decides what, who controls things, etc.
I agree that Trestle is incredibly pertinent to today's world. Dalton's family seems like one that would be featured on a human interest segment on NPR, any day this week. It is a harsh reality we cannot ignore, because it will not go away. I am with you entirely on not wanting to leave school because then you have to figure out what your future holds, financially... and right now, it could very well hold nothing. Even attempting to create for myself a safety net of another complete career that should be up and running before I graduate from college, I am afraid of graduating from U of L as well as massage school and having no work placed in front of me. I sometimes feel like we're just stuck in a period of great waiting, all of us hoping that if we wait long enough all of the problems we are facing right now will go away. I think that is, in some ways, the state Dray is in in the play. Yes, he is undeniably in a very deep depression, but I think part of what got him there is the slow loss of hope with each day of waiting. I think that I, like Dray, would feel powerless if I had no opportunity to apply all of the skills I have in my head, and that would be incredibly frustrating and disarming, which is a very real factor in depression.
ReplyDeleteI really, really enjoyed your solo performance, and how beautifully your viewpoints just fell into place in a familiar story. Plus, OMG, you talked to JCM on the phone for hours... I can't get over that.
I am so glad you are in this class to sort of bridge the gap between the on and offstage worlds, and you have such wonderful ideas and takes on things that the rest of us would never imagine.
You guys are right where I've been all year. I've always had to work for everything I have (and I'm also pretty much a workaholic), and now that I am graduating THIS SEMESTER and there might not be any work for me to do, I am completely freaking out. Having a job in our society is what gives us purpose; according to the standards we've been given. But what about all these people today who aren't working? Who don't have jobs available to them? What about a student graduating into one what is supposed to be one of the most exciting times of our lives, but really now it is just terrifying? The characters in Trestle are all slowly and surely losing their worth in society. Dray has lost it already when we meet him, except the glimmer of hope he has in his "relationship" with his son. Gin is such an interesting character because we see her losing it, and I think that comes through fully in the "blue hands" monologue. Chas makes it a point to let the other characters know that he has a job, and that is what makes him worthwhile. The two kids, man I don't even know..That's why I want to do the play and figure it out!
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